Part of my job as a divorce lawyer is to first point people to ways that they can reconcile.
Under the Divorce Act, the government legislation for processing divorce, lawyers have a strict legal obligation and duty to discuss with a client:
The possibility of reconciliation with spouses; and
Inform the client of marriage counselling or other guidance facilities that are available to help with reconciliation.
Any time a lawsuit is started seeking Divorce, the lawyer signing that document must affirm that they have lived up to this duty.
Here’s the thing, a divorce is not always the answer. Here are three reasons why you shouldn’t get a divorce:
1. Have you spent time in counseling yet? Did you just roll your eyes? I know, right? How cliche. But here’s the thing. Couples therapy is proven to help two individuals work on their communication, process emotions together, and foster relationship healing. Have you seen that movie Couples Retreat? It’s Hollywood proof that not just couples in crisis can benefit, but every couple can benefit from speaking with a third party whose best interest is to help you connect on a deeper level. You may be thinking that you are too far gone for counselling to work, but read on to reason number two to find out why it may be worth a try.
2. People go through a divorce, and then get remarried. If you think you might see yourself together in the future, work on your relationship now. Divorce is not a nasty way to prove a point to one another, but it is a timely, stressful and expensive way to do it. And it’s totally true. I have seen couples get remarried and live happily together for years after we processed their divorce. If you still see a glimmer of hope for your relationship refer back to number one.
3. Spend some time to work on yourself first. Sometimes we blame a lot of our personal unhappiness on our partner. But, like Will Smith says, it is not up to my spouse to make me happy, it is up to me to make me happy. Getting to know yourself and working through some of your own emotional healing can do wonders for your relationship. Try taking up hobbies and habits you enjoy. Bring more positivity to yourself before you think or assume you need to leave your relationship because that person does light you up.
If you feel like divorce is inevitable, know that a great Family Lawyer will always do their due diligence to see if reconciling is an option. If you want to speak to a Family Lawyer about your rights, feel free to book a consultation with our firm HERE.
Lauren M. Angle
Family Lawyer #familylaw #separation #divorce